Nobody

(Self-portrait), 2019
Acrylic on Canvas
24×36 inches

I painted “Nobody” in the darkest time of my life. I had lost my identity, after a high-conflict divorce from a long-troubled marriage, and was in the process of losing my home, business, and children to a series of frivolous and punitive lawsuits. I was no longer the person I was for so long, working extremely hard to keep my family and marriage together, yet I was also not the woman of 25 who I was before all this. I spent many days floating in my pool, staring at the sky, in psychological shock and with empty soul.

The painting’s central figure is me floating on waters filled with seaweed, complicating the atmosphere below the water surface. The seaweed emanates from my head, representative of my tangled thoughts and emotions. Behind me are the figures of my four children, rising to the surface of the water, foreshadowing their imminent loss to me. Overcrossing the painting image is the vèvè of Erzulie Dantor, the Black Madonna, commonly known as the Voodoo goddess spirit of protection for women and children, but also in charge of revenge. The placement of the vèvè as forming a cross over the image is meant to connote the nature of my life at this time – a physical and spiritual crossroads.